Meet Rachael Moore

Hello and thanks for stopping by the VIP Blog section of Let me introduce myself since this is my first post here. My name is Rachael Moore (I’m the one on the right in the picture… in case you were wondering – lol). I am a married mother of two children who lives in Southwest Missouri. I am new to atheism. I was raised in church, sang in the choir a couple of times, taught a few Sunday school classes, paid tithes, and have had plenty of experiences – good and bad, in church. Since this is a new experience for me I would like to share with you my point of views as a mother and wife who is learning how to admit my lack of faith and to share my experiences in my journey as a non-believer.

So, first things first – the ‘moment’. When did I know there was no god? I’d like to tell you there was a defining moment for me but it’s actually a compilation of many ‘moments’ that brought me to my current understanding of religion. First, when I met my husband and found out he was an atheist. I was shocked honestly. I had never known an atheist before! My heart fell to the floor because here’s this person who I’ve already connected with who tells me he doesn’t believe in God! My first instinct was to get up and run as fast as I could. I was in a rough spot in life and had turned to church to get me through the trying times. I went to church every chance I could. I loved singing with the congregation. I enjoyed learning about how to improve my life by living ‘the good life’. I couldn’t see myself not believing in God but I also didn’t want to imagine not loving the person I had grown so fond of. I turned to the church and the scripture to build a relationship with this wonderful person I call Mr. Moore.

A few years after I became Mrs. Moore my paternal grandmother died. I was furious at God for taking away the woman I had loved so fiercely for 25 years. Depression from grieving was the hardest thing I’ve ever overcome. I was a mess without my Granny. I was afraid she was burning in hell because I personally had never seen her go to church besides the occasional wedding every now and then. I knew her walk with God hadn’t always been that close and that I had never really seen her read a bible or hear her confess her beliefs. I was afraid I would never see her again which had been crammed down my throat for my entire life. (You know, when we all gather in the clouds after Jesus returns) How could God send someone like my Granny to HELL?! She never spoke an ill word of anyone…EVER! She never judged anyone for their decisions. She loved everyone the same. She was a good person. Why would God rid the world of someone like her and how was I going to ever see her again. How would my children know what it felt like to make stupid mistakes and always have someone like Granny on their side – cheering them along the way to overcome their mistakes? But again, I turned to the church to heal those wounds and to admit that my lovely, darling, gentle Granny was burning in hell.

I’ve also been introduced to many religions. I’ve had a Muslim step-father. I have Mormon relatives. We’ve experienced a lot of different point of views when it comes to religion. But, learning about Jehovah’s Witnesses beat all I’d ever seen. That made me step back and say – “Wait one minute here! Do my beliefs sound as ridiculous to everyone else as these sound to me?” I refrained from church attendance and started to look really hard at my life to understand where God has helped me and hurt me. Through all of the times up to that point – it hit me…every time I’ve built myself up it was because of the choices I had made. Every time in my past that I’ve failed or stumbled were results of my own decisions. I decided at that point in time I was the reason for all of my successes and shortcomings. I have painstakingly crawled out of every hole I found myself in. I’ve never heard the voice of God calling my name or seen an angel before making a bad choice in life. It’s always just been…ME!

So there you have it…I’m an atheist. On occasion I’ll shy away from the word atheist and just use agnostic but the more I learn about myself, religion, and humanity – I’m slowly becoming okay with admitting I’m an atheist. Stay tuned for more posts. I’m looking forward to sharing my point of views with you.

  • Atablarasa

    Hi, Rachael,

    Having spent time in Southwestern Missouri (my wife is from Springfield), I can only say congratulations. That is a tough place to make that kind of a break. And let me add that even now, many years after we left the church, I still miss the community and the singing.

    Thanks for sharing your story!