We’re not playing around anymore!

Last week, the atheist movement kicked its assault on religion up to eleven. Fuck it, we rolled up our sleeves and cranked it up to fucking twelve!!!

No introducing legislation dictating the private lives of those outside our in-group; no blaming natural disasters on our enemies. Fuck that. Those tactics are for snuggly, lesser wimps. Our campaign used a terrible weapon: words. Not just any words, the type of words that would send the most hardened man into a balled up fit of hysterics. Our target? A church right here in Columbus, OH – sitting by the road innocently, unaware that the gnu atheists were about to unveil our most heinous, offensive, religion-destroying message to date on a billboard right nearby. Quiver and behold!!!!

Yes…I feel the evil flowing through my veins like godless ice. I feel damned just glancing at the bright neon-green and the soft, rounded letters of this despicable eyesore. The church, feeling the horror of such a wicked, wicked sentence, complained to the advertising company…who is now moving the billboard to another location.

The fuck? The notion that someone can be good without god is a threat to a church? I guess there’s nothing to do but start writing emails every time I see a religious billboard complaining that now I can’t use this road. Who wants to bet that they’ll treat me the same way as the church?

This says a lot about religious people. Note how we react to their billboards all over hell and creation, many of which make moral judgments on anybody not of their faith, and then note how they react to the rare billboard we put up displaying a completely innocuous (and observably true) message. I can’t help but wonder if the Chris Stedmans of the world, the ones who would have us think twice before offending these people by being miffed and vocalizing it, read about this shit. I wonder how they see a faith to which the idea of non-believers being good is so abrasive that it must be censored, as being something we can work with toward realizing equality for atheists.

While the cuddly ones are leaving skid marks in their rush to assure these assholes that their beliefs are respectable just because, y’know, they’re held, I will be out speaking the damn truth in no uncertain terms: we are not merely good without god – we are better without god. Our beliefs are based on better reasoning and more evidence. We are good because virtue is its own reward, not because we fear punishment. Our moral condemnations are generally based on what generates the most happiness or alleviates the most suffering, not on some arbitrary commands handed down to us by a people who were sexist, largely xenophobic, and ignorant of virtually everything mankind presently knows. The idea that some ideas are sacred is one of the principal concepts in operation keeping us (and our children) from understanding the universe further and should be battled tooth and claw, not respected in the slightest. In short, faith and religion are enemies of our effort to be better, and because I love humanity it would be immoral for me not to oppose them.

Can we put that on a billboard? Might give them some damn perspective.


The plot thinnens. Hemant did some digging into this. The church says the billboard was put up on their property which, for one, doesn’t change much of anything about my post. For another, it raises some interesting questions that Hemant hit on very well.

  • Does the church own this billboard space? If so, why was approval granted to put it up there in the first place?
  • Do checks for the billboard get made out to the church? If they were paid in full (as was the case here), are they returning the money?
  • Why was the church so offended by this billboard? If they dislike that it portrays atheism in a positive light, have they removed other billboards in the past?

This could get interesting.

  • Alex

    I completely agree with you here. Just another example of the hypocrisy of the church. I really hope the ad company tells this church where they can stick it.

  • Paul Murray

    Meh. Church rents space to a billboard company, billboard company puts up a billboard there that the church doesn't much like (for a bunch of obvious reasons), company moves billboard. No biggie, really.