SEX & GOD: A New and Fascinating Book by Darrel Ray

Our good friend and supporter, Darrel Ray, just published his new book. I also made the cover art for it and my wife helped write part of it. We highly encourage you to check it out.


A new book, SEX & GOD, which contains an extraordinary in-depth survey, shows how fundamentalist religions control the sexual nature of believers, while perpetuating their religious adherence. The book examines the psychological strategies and tactics that religions use to bind people to a wide variety of sexual prohibitions. Fundamentalist religions want its adherents to believe that a variety of sexual restrictions are the basis for
happiness. However, Darrel Ray, a psychologist and the author of SEX & GOD, provides a vast amount of evidence from former fundamentalist believers that sexual performance and happiness increased after they left their religions.

His book systematically examines why religion is so interested in sex, the benefits to fundamentalist preachers who espouse arbitrary rules about sexuality, and how hundreds of thousands of former believers have found happiness outside of religion. In addition, SEX & GOD shows how sexual restrictions are used by major religions and why it works so well, especially in subjugating women and children. It also shows how one can combat religious programming about sexuality. The book further explores how to identify and avoid religion’s psychological traps that inhibit
or condemn sexuality and offers an alternative view of healthy sexuality, free of guilt, deleterious restrictions, and illogical prohibitions.

Included in the book are the following important facts:

Among all American religions, Mormonism is the single most sexually guilt ridden. Mormonism scores 37%% higher in sexual guilt than even Catholics. Mormons are closely followed by Jehovah’s Witnesses, Pentecostals, and Seventh Day Adventists, all of whom score 30% higher than Catholics. Among the least guilt ridden religion is Unitarianism.

22.5% of children from religious homes have been shamed, ridiculed or embarrassed by their parents for masturbating. Only 5.5% of children from non-religious homes reported such parental treatment. 79.9% of religious children report guilt and embarrassment about normal sexual behavior as opposed to 26.3% of children from non-religious homes.

Leaving Religion

54.6% of respondents reported a major improvement in their sex lives after leaving religion. Only 2.2% reported that their sex lives
got worse.

Ex Jehovah’s Witnesses reported the most improvement in their sex lives. Mormons, Seventh Day Adventists, and Pentecostals were just behind. Catholics reported a 30.5% improvement in their sex life after leaving the church.

Endorsements for Sex & God:

“Read this book. Whether you are a believer, doubter, or atheist, religion influences your sexuality. Darrel Ray removes our blinders. Never again will you view religion as benign in its effects. With patience, verve, and overwhelming evidence he makes the case that religion is an STD, a sexually tarnishing disease. Religion undermines our capacities for romance, love, sex, intimacy, and parenting. Sex and God, not the Gideon Bible, needs
to be in every hotel room.” – J. Anderson Thomson, Jr., M.D., University of Virginia, psychiatrist, author, Why We Believe In God(s): A Concise Guide to the Science of Faith.

But, that’s not all..

“The gods seem to have a perverse obsession with the sex lives of mere mortals. In this comprehensive, sharply written survey, Darrel Ray takes us on a tour of the millennia-long religious crusades against guilt-free human sexual expression. I enjoyed this book. It’s a fascinating, informative read.”- Christopher Ryan, Ph.D., co-author of Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality

“When it comes to hurtful hypocrisy, it appears that religion and sex may well take the cake. How appropriate therefore – and how courageous – that Darrel Ray has written Sex and God, a powerful debunking of one of the deepest yet rarely examined mythic connections of all time. Give Sex and God a try … and then drop one of them (I’ll leave it up to you to decide which!). – David P.Barash, professor of psychology, University of Washington, and
author, most recently, of Homo Mysterious: evolutionary mysteries of human nature.”

For interviews with Dr. Darrel Ray, please contact Jeffrey
Sussman at 212-421-4475 or

Sex and God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality Brief Description

For more than three thousand years, religions of all kinds have injected themselves into our sex lives. Yet, no one has ever systematically examined why religion is so interested in what we do in the bedroom. Why are all the major religions so interested in sex? What benefit to religions gain by creating arbitrary rules about sex and sexuality? Why is religious sexuality so opposed to our biological nature?

Religion distorts sexuality. The majority of religious people live one life for the public and another in private. It can be as simple as living as a “happily married Christian couple” when you are both miserable with your sex life. As a good Christian, Muslim, Buddhist or Mormon, you must deny and pretend that you don’t masturbate, all the while “abusing yourself” regularly. You must condemn pornography even as you use it. You must preach against lustful thoughts even if you can’t avoid them. You must condemn your spouse or others for certain sexual ideas, thoughts or preferences even when you have them as well. You must tell your children how bad premarital sex is even when you had several sexual partners before you were married. You must show forgiveness for the sexual indiscretions of your religious leaders even as they condemn you for doing the same. In sum, most religious people live a double life.

This book shows how religion uses our sexual nature against us to control us and perpetuate religion. It outlines the psychological strategies religions use to bind us to a specific religion using techniques like guilt, shame, fear of death and promise of an afterlife. Religion would have you believe sexual restriction is for your good and happiness, but the evidence shows it is largely for the benefit of the religion, without regard to human happiness. How did human culture exist for thousands of years before Yahweh, Jesus and Allah came along? If religion is so important to sexual control, how do so-called “primitive” cultures exist happily for thousands of years without Christianity, Islam or Hinduism to guide them?
Sex and God shows how sexual restrictions are used by all the major religions and why it works so well, especially in subjugating women and children. It also shows what you can do about the sexual programming you received from your religion or the religious culture you live in. It explores how to identify and avoid religious psychological traps that inhibit or condemn you for being a normal human being. Living as an ethical and considerate sexual person is critical in today’s world. This book will show you how to live ethically without the distortions of religious sexuality.

  • Scott

    Ahhh, out of stock??

  • Betsy

    I want this book now!Everything I have read so far is great.Where can i buy it???

  • Adam

    Click on the image (link) at the bottom of the article or at the top. Amazon didn’t expect so many orders and keeps running our of stock. Keep trying. I just got my signed copy… but I designed the cover, so…

  • Hans C. Schellenberg (@hanscs)

    “This book shows how religion uses our sexual nature against us to control us and perpetuate religion.”

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